165 Sundays to go.
- Sandy Koufax had 165 wins in his short but brilliant career.
- Hearst Castle is a 165-room estate of newspaper publisher William Randolph Hearst, in San Simeon, Calif.
David Letterman announced this week that he will be retiring after 30 something years of being a talk show host. I know it sounds childish but I have been down ever since. Letterman is probably the only TV show I watch regularly and I have been watching him all those 30 something years. If it weren’t for hockey or that my wonderful wife still uses it, I’d probably consider get rid of the TV.
I had feared this was going to happen and knew it would have to happen eventually. But when he announced it on his show I was surprised at how much it saddened me. It feels like a friend or relative is dying and there is no prognosis of recovery. The passing is inevitable and there’s a hole in my heart. On the face of it, its absurd. I’ve never even met the dude. He doesn’t know who I am. I basically have an emotional attachment with a one dimensional image on the TV. Maybe that’s what is subconsciously bothering me. There’s some really horrible things going on in this world. The rich and the corporations through the ideological right wing are destroying this country and this is what is affecting my soul? The loss of a character on a TV screen? It’s like being in love with a blow up doll. Ok, now I’m really depressed.
I have a feeling he would have retired a few years ago but unlike Jerry Seinfeld he feels a responsibility to his staff. He has always been known to be generous to his staff and when the writers struck a few years ago, he just shut down the show until it was over. And you know he paid them out of his own deep pockets while they were out. I love Seinfeld, but when he quit his show, he threw everyone under the bus. None of the other actors who made the show wanted to quit but he was done and that’s all that mattered. And they were the ones that made the show. He was the straight man to all of them while they had the killer lines. Again, like I know either one of them. Like I’m a fly on the wall at 30 Rock or sitting in on writer’s meetings. I’m just a boob lying flat on my back with a remote in his hand and cheese puff crumbs on my chest.
I first became aware of Letterman when he first started appearing on the Tonight Show in the mid 70’s. He used to come on and do 10 minutes of standup and then sit down and talk with Johnny. Always entertaining and funny stuff.
I understand he is an acquired taste like mussels, lamb or this blog. And like any acquired taste, those that really love him, really love him. ( Maybe I should take myself out of that acquired taste list. I’ve never had one comment either suggesting love or profound disgust. I’ve got a couple of followers but those are internet marketers looking to cash in on my gullibility). Letterman was like the cool funny person in high school that you always wanted to be with in his/her inner circle. You’d be on his side making fun of the jocks, dopers and math geeks and you felt like you weren’t such a loser because you got it. And he always did it with respect, humility and reverence to the comedians of the past. You could see a lot of Steve Allen in the asides. He often said when someone tried to explain his importance, “Aw c’mon, I’m just a stooge with a talk show, for the love of God.”
But Letterman is also hysterical when he’s making fun of himself. Its hard to just sit through just making fun of others. Then its Rush Limbaugh. A pompous blowhard who thinks he’s better than everyone. Letterman used to say, “I want to continue doing this show until its sad” and then he give that take into the camera. In his retirement announcement he said, “I always said I wanted to keep doing this show until its no longer fun. And then keep doing it another 10 years.” Classic Letterman. And that aint gonna happen anymore and definitely not for another 10 years.
Then when he got his own show I’d watch him every night at 12:30 live after Carson. His show was electric and ground breaking. You would start to see other shows that weren’t even entertainment related like ESPN’s Sports Center copy his smart ass approach. The difference was Letterman’s act was ad libbed off of what someone just said or just happened. The others were scripted.
The way I watch Letterman now is on DVR. I’m old and in bed by 10. I can’t even remember the last time I was up at 12:30 unless it was to go to the bathroom. I get home from work and watch hockey. In between hockey intermissions and commercial breaks or when there is no hockey, I’ll watch last night’s show. I watch the monologue, fast forward through the commercials and watch the bit after the commercial. This is usually the funniest part of the show. Then I fast forward through more commercials and through the actor/actress guests. Nothing there but attention freaks plugging themselves. Some guest segments like Martin Short, Nathan Lane, Billy Crystal and Tom Hanks were worth watching. They would usually have some funny story or bit prepared. They probably let Letterman know what the bit was so he could set them up or go along. I’ve seen those guys on Conan or Leno and they weren’t as good. Speaking of which, you tube some of the appearances of Leno or Seinfeld on the old show. They were magic together.
Continuing to fast forward, I’ll keep an eye on the speeded up Letterman to see if he’s laughing, ready to hit stop and back it up to see what tickled him. Often times there’s a video bit or a show announcer, Alan Kalter bit that’s pretty funny and I’ll watch that. I love it when Letterman stops him because he’s going way, way out of bounds and Kalter explodes hilariously or says, “Back to you, Duck Face! ( or Gomer!)” Then its more fast forwarding to sometimes a stand up comedian and then to the musical act at the end. I always watch the beginning of the musical act to see if its anything. That is my only link to anything current going on in music today.
Letterman also had reoccurring bits that never got old even though you knew they were coming. He had favorite old jokes like when New York would have the Westminister Dog Show and Fashion Week going at the same time and “between the cat show and the fashion shows, we got bitches coming and going.” Or at Christmas time when he would talk about going out to get a hooker and a Christmas tree and would get mixed up and throw the tree in the back and strap the hooker to the hood of the car. Or at Thanksgiving when his mother would get liquored up on bloody Marys and they would find her out lying in the snow. “It was so cute. A reindeer was licking the salt off her lips.” If you’ve ever seen his saintly mother, you’d know that never happened. Stupid but if you’re looking for cerebral go you tube yourself some Mort Sahl or Lenny Bruce. And obviously male oriented. My wonderful, tasteful wife didn’t particularly care for him in the beginning. She still doesn’t have the adolescent hero worship I have for him but she finds him humorous now in small doses. He would ask the audience “anyone here from Iran” and the camera would pull back to include Shafer and the band. Three guys in the band would have their hands up and Letterman would say, “its always the horn section.” This is borrowed from Carson who used to do this with Severinson’s band.
Old friends will be missed like Biff, Shafer, Tony, the cue card “boy.” Stage hand Pat Farmer, writer Joe Grossman, writer, who Dave would tell to get out after the bit and would always start to go the wrong way, Lyle the intern, writer Gerard Mulligan and the greatest side bit of them all, Chris Elliot. Elliot, one time on the old show did a viewer mail bit where he was asked if there was any difference between cooking oils and you thought he was going to fry something to see the difference. Instead he took a big healthy glug-alug-alug from each bottle. He then stopped and paused while thinking deeply and replied straight faced, “I can’t tell a difference, Dave.”
But you never want to see anyone go past his prime. I remember when my hero, but 42 year old Willie Mays fell down in the outfield chasing a fly ball in the 1973 World Series. The Rolling Stones are no longer watchable. I also remember Groucho Marx on the Dick Cavett show in the late sixties or early seventies. You could tell he still had the quick mind but the quick delivery was gone. Obviously, the reality is that everything eventually ends. Letterman isn’t in his 20’s anymore. Be careful what I wish for. I would definitely not want a memory of Letterman no longer able to keep up, looking out of it in his old age. Maybe subconsciously I’m not ready to accept that either him or I are no longer in our prime. Still, I’m gonna miss the big lug.
200 Sundays to Go 