160 Sundays to go
- Text messages are limited to 160 characters. Here’s why: http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/technology/2009/05/invented-text-messaging.html
- Scientists estimate there may be 160 billion alien planets. http://www.space.com/14200-160-billion-alien-planets-milky-galaxy.html
I don’t need a cell phone. I know in today’s consumerism/technogeek society that sounds as blasphemous as I hate God but I’m not a cell phone guy. My wonderful wife uses hers even less. I can get away with charging our phones once a week on Sunday night. The only time our phones are on is after school in case we need to get ahold of each other. Half the time one of us forgets and never turns it on. But it didn’t matter because neither one of us tried to call.
I have only sent one text in my life. Being a language/grammar elitist, I hated how everything was in lower case and with no punctuation. Even Shakespeare in text would come off like Snoop Dog or Jethro in the Beverly Hillbillies for those geriatric enough to dig that reference. I since have figured out there’s a button to change from letters to numbers and punctuation but again I’ve never needed to text anyone. And the hackles on my neck rise when I see “lol, omg, jk,” and all those other robotic abbreviations that say, “I refuse to say anything original or take the time to communicate my emotions.”
I had always resisted even getting a cell phone. I didn’t see the need of having access to a telephone 24/7. If I need to call someone I can wait until I get home or get to work. No one is ever interested in calling me and anyone who needs to get ahold of me can also wait until one of those two things happens. I tell that to people and they say that they need it in case their kids call. Why? My parents never had cell phones or thought they needed to have the ability to communicate with my ass or any part of my siblings’ anatomy every second of the day. They weren’t today’s helicopter parents who have a psychological need to hover over their children long past necessary. Mine could trust we could probably get by for a second or two without their Supreme Guidance and Presence.
Finally, my wonderful wife talked me into it. She thought it would be good to have in case our cars break down on the freeway and we need to call AAA. Everyone else on the planet had already had cell phones for years. We were such rookies. We had our phones for a couple of months and sure enough our car blew a tire on the freeway. But when I tried to call, the damn thing wouldn’t work. Seems you have to charge them occasionally. Other things run on batteries for months without having to change or charge the batteries. I never even considered you would have to charge the phone so often especially when it was rarely being used
I’m not at all curious about the things a phone can do. I’m not interested in “playing with it.” A colleague at work had to show me how to program it so all I had to do was hit a number and I could be dialing my wonderful wife’s phone. She also had to show me how to work the camera. To this day that picture of me with a bored “get on with it” look is still the only picture on either mine of my wife’s phone. We aren’t attention freaks. We don’t need to show people we were at this great place or this fun event. My wonderful wife is very lovely to look at but I know I’ll see the real deal pretty soon. Actually, I do want pictures of her but she hates having her picture taken and runs like a bat out of hell when a camera appears. And the world definitely doesn’t need any pictures of me.
Then people started getting smart phones. I hate paying $70 a month for the cell but definitely don’t want to pay another $30 in data fees. I don’t need 24/7 internet access. I don’t need to be able to see the Giants’ score while I’m sitting on the can in the restroom at Jack in the Box. My brother-in-law got one a few years ago and tried to tell everyone in his family (sister and 2 parents) how great they were. He’s still the only one who has one. He’s glued to the thing. Every time I see him, rarely 5 minutes goes by without him whipping out his phone/umbilical cord. I also see this as a problem with others. In the good old days, if you were in a crowded parking lot you could get lucky and see someone walking out to their car. You could just wait a minute because you knew they’d be backing out. Now 10 minutes goes by because they’re texting, checking their messages or probably humping their phone. There’s going to be a 12 Step program for cell phones like I have for my alcoholism or others for gambling or over eating. Step 1- I admitted I was powerless over my lust for my cell phone and my life had become unmanageable.
Guess I’m just Ted Kacynski without the penchant for hurting people. I resisted the 21st century with a fierce desire desparately wanting my psychological comfort of the late 1970’s. 2000 was 14 years ago but it seems still space age. One thing for sure, if you get behind me on the road you’ll know I’m not on my phone. I’m driving like a lunatic but I’m paying attention.
200 Sundays to Go 